By Insistent Demand - World War Wasp

{Preface - This is a series of posts from the book of faces that I wrote back in 2013 after a sprinkler project boiled over into interspecies hostilities. Every time I post a funny story on the said книга мордочек [ka-`knee-ga `more-da-chek] (book of {unflattering Russian slang for faces}) Angel's grandmother remarks that I should post this. So here it is. At the top are the original posts - copied and pasted with some grammatical edits. You can also find a summery of the initial experience on my blog Grandfather's Wish, along with a reminisces of various stings I've had here - https://grandfatherswish.blogspot.com/2013/09/remembering-sting.html, You can also check out the research I did on bee, wasp, and other venoms on my Musings of a Mixed Mind blog as a result of this encounter here - https://musingsofamixedmind.blogspot.com/2013/10/this-is-going-to-hurt-lot.html. Anyway, on to the show.}

September 28 / 2013

I had just finished some sprinkler work this afternoon and was putting things away when I was attacked by a swarm of wasps. Luckily I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, but two made it through, stinking me, one on each arm. I yelled for my daughter to get in the house and stormed into the garage. There I found several more walking in circles because their stingers were stuck in my shirt. I beat them to their respective pulps with my leather hat and a roll of packing tape then scraped by arms with a tape measure to clear the two stingers. I went inside to check on my daughter and took her into the bathroom to show her what stings look like. There another wasp (from my leg?) made an appearance. I shooed by daughter out and shut the door. We battled to his death and I flushed his broken body down the toilet. Twenty minutes later I was downstairs and pulled something out of my pocket and another wasp came with it. Again, we battled around the room. At last I pinned him between a towel and a pillow and I punched him to death against the wall. His body too was flushed down the toilet. When my son wakes up from his nap I am going to get a wasp trap and spray. This cowardly attack against my family will not go unpunished! I've felt the sting of wasps before and do not fear it! Cower before me, you who wear the colors of yellow and black for your day has come!!

September 28 / 2013

The trap is set and I've sprayed the entrance of their hive. Many of them have already fallen, but none were on our side.

September 29 / 2013

Everyone I've seen has asked about them so - world war wasp: wound update. THEY ITCH!!!!! Curse those bugs with their biological weapons. I now feel justified in hitting them with long range chemical weapons (Raid). Now that I've used bio- and chemical weapons on Facebook cue NSA tracking in 3, 2, 1...... God bless America. (Down with wasps!)

September 30 / 2013

World War Wasp update: I ventured into enemy territory looking for their base. In an attempt to ambush them I sprayed the entrance with foam and then banged on the floor of the shed, the same action I took when they attacked the first time. After retreating a short distance to observe, I noticed very few enemy troops responded. Figuring that my previous sorties had been highly effective I ventured back into their lair. Unfortunately there was one alert sentry who engaged my reconnaissance with extreme prejudice. You can see the results here. I'm sure that wasps are distant cousins of the Zurg.